A National Public Radio report titled “A New Openness For Donor Kids About Their Biology” investigates an emerging trend: parents who used donor eggs to conceive want to share the biological facts of life with their children. Donor-egg babies, like adopted children a generation before, used to be kept in the dark about their biological beginnings.
“Women inseminated with a donor’s sperm,” the article begins, “used to be advised to tell no one. Go home, doctors said, make love to your husband and pretend that worked.”
Psychologists today agree that the shock and trauma to children discovering later in life that their parents aren’t their de facto biological parents is a greater evil than letting the child know early that he or she was conceived in a less than traditional manner. According to Elaine Gordon, one psychologist quoted in the article: “You never want to sit a pre-adolescent down and say, ‘We have something to tell you.’”
Here’s another insight from the article:
“The top three reasons children search for their donors are: curiosity about the donor’s characteristics, a desire to meet the donor, and for medical reasons. Very few reported they wanted to form a relationship with the donor.”Read the complete npr.com article online.
Fertility Specialists Medical Group understands that it is a personal choice whether or not parents want to tell their children. FSMG supports egg donor privacy, including honoring privacy requests from both the donor and the recipient family. FSMG also offers counseling for families struggling with the issue.
This NPR article is the first of a two-part feature story; we will provide you with a link to the second part of the story in another blog post. Stay tuned soon!