You Will Find Your Way

Submitted by a former patient, 2018

You will ask each other questions you thought you would never have to ask. What will you do if you divorce? What will you do if either of you die? What will you do if it doesn’t work? Can you be happy with or without a child? Can you be strong? Can you be vulnerable? Can you tell each other the truth?

You’ll find yourself in a room with your partner asking each other those questions. You will make choices together that impact the both of you until the day that you take your last breath. There will be anger, sorrow, sadness, and frustration. You will feel all of that for your partner. You will find yourselves frustrated with your doctor. You will question every choice you both made throughout the process.

You will cry and weep because of the pain that may find you.

You will hold onto hope when it feels as if there is none left. You will need to turn to each other every step of the way. The only people that will understand what you are going through are the both of you, and those that have gone through it themselves.

But don’t be afraid to share. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends. Share as much as you can with those closest to you. In your vulnerability you will find your strength. When you encounter defeat, don’t stop. When all hope is lost, don’t stop.

You’ll want to be done, but keep going.

Eventually, you’ll find an answer, and that little boy or girl you’ve been hoping for will be with you. It may not be in the way you expected and the road you took may have required you to stretch yourself in ways you never thought you would have to, but you can get to the place that you wanted to when you first walked through those doors into your doctor’s office.

It will be a long road, but at the end of it you’ll find it was the end of a chapter, not the end of a story. Your story is just beginning, and that’s why you’re here.

You’re here because of the next chapter….poopy diapers, first steps, school, t-ball, training wheels, and a cranky teenager. You will fight for your family in a way that most others never have to. Own your journey here, but don’t let if define you.

You will find a light at the end of your path and years from now you’ll look at your family and know that it was all worth it.